STAR WARS EPISODE II:

Attack of the Clones

CARL's TAKE: <<<Two and a half out of Four Stars>>>

Summary - The sequel to Episode One and prequel to the three original Star Wars movies, it is set 10 years after the events in Ep One. Anakin is now a jedi apprentice under Obi Wan. Those two are assigned to protect Senator Amidala (former Queen from first movie) from an unknown bounty hunter trying to kill her. Obi Wan heads off to track down the bounty hunter while Anakin stays to 'protect' the senator (and get into her pants while he's doing it). Obi Wan, with a computer-animated Yoda's guidance, learns of a secret planet deleted from Jedi archives. On the planet he finds a massive army of clones developed secretly for the Republic, which is fearful of separatists but hasn't yet voted to form a standing army. He also finds the bounty hunter, 'father' of Boba Fett from the original Star Wars, and tracks him to a planet where the stage is set for Jedi, clones, and the Sith to duke it out in the climactic last half hour of the film.

Impression - This movie is LOOONNNGG, just like the last, but has enough eye candy to keep an enthusiast awake.

Review - It isn't always fair to start off focusing on the bad, but this movie's black mark sets the tone for everything else. It has some of the worst writing I have ever seen. I imagine Lucas himself wrote every scene right before filming, because it boggles my mind that such a large production wouldn't have thought to let an experienced writer at the script before production. The dialogue in the movie is BAD; it's simplistic and thoughtless dribble that would make even a skilled actor sound like they were reading from a $5 sci-fi novel. And not only do the scenes fail to flow, at times they seem to work against each other. Most scenes cut into the next in a 'meanwhile, back on the ranch' kinda way that forces you to put any emotions or suspense you had in the last scene on hold until all the other characters get their piece of film. A skilled writer could have very easily shaved half an hour off this unnecessarily long movie with a small amount of creative effort, and probably placed another star on my review with just a little bit of flair in the dialogue.

The acting was both great and sucky. The male lead of Anakin (Christensen I think, a name I'm gonna try to remember) was an oscar-worthy performance, especially with such an awful script. Where Lucas failed to provide his character with emotion, Christensen made up his own, and his performance brought light to the more dismal scenes. This was, in many parts of the movie, in clear contrast to the acting of his female counterpart Portman as Amidala (Padme). She seemed bored with the whole thing, and acted with a monotone indifference. Had there been any chemistry between those two, the love scenes would have come alive and been a pleasure to watch. But away from Portman, the actor playing Obi Wan DID work well with Anakin. Their relationship as teacher and student was well defined, and Obi Wan's frustration and worry was so well portrayed you could almost feel it. Too, too bad that these characters went separate ways for 80% of the movie. Their performances were what saved the show.

That and the special effects - holy jesus they had a lot of them. Just about every single shot had a computer-enhanced element. If you go to see it for anything, go for the eye-candy. While his writing sucks, Lucas's Industrial Light & Magic broke all the barriers for special effects with this movie. Even if all the acting was cut out, the fights, chases, and battles would have made a movie all by themselves.

VERDICT: See this. If for no reason other than to see the effects and 20% of the cast that did well, or to know what the hell everyone is talking about, see it. Overall, it's a mediocre movie. But anyone can find something to like somewhere in it.

MIKE'S TAKE: <<< >>>

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